Better Relationship with Your Children

Better Relationship with Your Children
By Pamela Cheong

I just want to share with those parents whom I think will be very appropriate to make parenting impact and meaning to your child's life.

1. To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.

Many a times busy parents like us are too caught up with the doing of the things and have thus neglected spending quality time with our children. I have seen too many times that parents substituted their absence with materials things bought with money as gifts for children. Children needs to feel and sense the physical presence of their parents.

2. Your children will become what you are, so be what you want them to be.

Is there a parenting goal plan or vision statement of what your children will be? In a recent parenting briefing class, the instructor highlighted that how the children behave in public is a reflection of their parents in their life.

3. Treat your children with respect and your children will mirror your behavior.

If your style of parenting is shouting across the room or table to get your children to hear you and that's the way you give instruction. The children will behave in similar manners too. My ex-neighbor is a "Shouting mummy". She shouts to get her instruction across the house to get her 3 children to act. Very naturally her oldest of the 3 children also behave in such manner. If you do not treat your child with respect the same will be treated back to you. Children are the best imitators when they are younger.

4. Teach your children the essential 2 Ms- Good Morals and Good Manners

The civilized world of today has many means of disseminating information. Example: Gay marriages, Homosexuality and even telling lie. In the business and political world, news on TV and on print media showed countless events of immoral acts but only to highlight the results of the act and not the act itself. Example: People lied to get to what they want as status or control or authority. It echoes point 2 as stated. Do not let the world or society to teach your children. Each family should have their set of morals and family belief to teach and pass down by generations.

Good Manners are very seldom found in the world now. If I were to name a few countries or race that people have good manners. No phone ringing tones, no "loudspeakers" - inconsiderate people speaking on their mobile as if they want the whole world to know that they are going to buy a new house or make a windfall. Many Chinese families are also very particular about manners. Manners like greeting the elders in the family, no talking with mouth full, no playing with chopsticks when eating are a few to name.

5. Do not rush to fight your children's battles.

Too many times, first time parents are too protective over their child. Give some space and time to let children learnt where and when and how they should do and fight when there is a battle. Some children will disclose to the parents that they have broken them and they can no longer be independent and responsible. Some children will not able to handle their emotion and may turn depressed or rebellious or terror to others.

Therefore, there are few basic fundamentals to parenting. These basic fundamentals build up the characters and the relationship between child and parents. Parenting is a process and most parenting objective is to make your child a successful and independent and making positive contribution to the world.

Disorganized Friend

Valuable Lessons from Disorganized Friend

By Lisa Montanaro

Tracy, demonstrating the intuitiveness that I have come to know is her classic style, guided me to the field of professional organizing in 1999. My husband, Sean, whom I also must give credit to for helping guide me to professional organizing, used to tease that what I was really excellent at was planning lives. Indeed, his slogan for my not-yet-created organizing and coaching business was "Montanaro, Inc. - We Plan Lives."

Tracy was surfing the Web and discovered the National Association of Professional Organizers website, as well as that of the local New York Chapter. I thought, "People pay to have their lives organized? Amazing. I then spent a lot of time researching the profession, as well as brainstorming how and when I could "legitimize" my organizing skills by launching a business.

I attended a one-day conference sponsored by NAPO-NY, "Putting the 'Professional' Into Professional Organizing." It was there that I learned what is involved in running an organizing business and what sets a professional organizer apart from someone who merely likes to organize. I realized that I have been organizing people's lives on an "amateur" level my whole life, and that my organizing and coaching skills transcended my work as a lawyer, educator, mediator, administrator, writer, public speaker, and performer. Becoming more excited at the prospect of launching a business as a professional organizer, I decided to "practice" on Tracy, one of my closest friends.

Tracy and I met through our high school chorus, and were co-stars of our high school musical. I had been providing organizing and coaching services for Tracy for years: assisting her with writing letters to creditors, planning her vacations, reviewing her resume and cover letters, preparing her for job interviews, etc. It seemed only natural to start my career as a professional organizer with my number one consistent informal client, my disorganized, but brilliant and wonderful, friend.

No, the reason I chose to do organizing work for Tracy was because it just felt natural. Success. In 2002-2003, I assisted Tracy and her husband Mike with the first-time home buying process. Over the years, I have repeatedly provided organizing assistance to Tracy. We have delved into time management, space planning, bill paying systems, paper management, and organized the master bedroom, master bathroom and home office.

Tracy is an extremely intelligent, self-aware woman who has made great strides when it comes to organizing, and benefits greatly from working with an organizer. My clients may not have had the benefit of a parent, teacher, mentor, work colleague, or friend that could serve as a role model with regard to organizing skills. Some of my clients are organized at home, but not at work, or visa versa. Some are organized physically, but their time management skills are lacking.

Due to her background and intelligence, I knew one way to reach Tracy was by helping her to examine the psychological side of being disorganized. She is an avid reader (as well as one hell of an editor, proofreader and writer!) and has digested a plethora of organizing books. While many outsiders may only see the benefit Tracy has received from being the guinea pig that I practiced on early on in my organizing career, I have truly benefited too. I have been able to follow her struggles, research, revelation, and education process, while honing my skills and developing my unique approach to organizing systems. This organizer-client relationship with a close friend proves that you can mix business with pleasure and not only have the friendship survive despite the business relationship, but improve the friendship and business because of it.