Computer Love

Computer Love

By Alisa Chagnon

Is “real” love possible to attain via computer? There are many factors that come into play when two people fall in love. Other factors are qualities that we find in another person that compliment our desires of a “perfect” mate. Honesty, integrity, loyalty, caring, a fun loving personality and good morals are just a few of these qualities. Many woman and men alike, have “fallen in love” over the Internet.

The majority of people, who believe they have discovered true love without actually meeting the other person, have done so by implementing a type of instant messenger or video conferencing. We will focus on this element, as the element of a web cam can be misleading. If a connection is felt, this can quickly escalate into chatting every day.

It is a fact that many people are lonely. With personal computers in the majority of every household, many people turn to this Internet environment when they are lonely and wish for someone to talk to.

It is important to realize that the world inside a computer is not, and never can be, the real world. When craving acceptance, love, caring, attention and a relationship, one can easily be led astray into the art of misperception. Both people involved in the online relationship do not even realize this is happening.

The truth of the matter is this: the key elements of a true and loving relationship cannot materialize through a computer. Starting with physical and chemical attraction: a person may feel they are attracted to the image on a web cam but this in no way is the actual person that exists. Anyone who owns a web cam surely understands that it is very easy to show yourself in a good light via cam. If you feel that you are completely attracted to the other person, ask yourself this: Do you entirely show your true self on your cam? Web cams are an image of you, a moving image and very far from what you are perceived as in person. Do you love the fragrance of their cologne/ perfume? Do you love the feel of their kisses? Do you love those hugs?

If a person possesses these qualities, it can then free you to respect the person and set a ground for trust and a feeling of safety. Someone who is in love online, may debate that they have seen these qualities already. Are you witnesses to their work ethics? Do you sit around a table with their family and see the loving interaction?

Love can be confusing. Craving a relationship or marriage can send people in a blindness that prevents them from understanding the misperception that occurs online. Again, this misperception does not need be by intention. A person can be intrigued, in lust, in “like”, or in a false reality of love when online with another. Only in spending quality time face-to-face, will the true colors of the other surface. It is at that time, that one should decide if they are in love.